361 things my friends would never do.

Ok now this is not like what it sounds. It is not what my friends would or should never do. It’s about who qualify to be my friends. Or may be how mad my friends and I are.

Ok chuk it…I know you don’t care and I don’t want you to close this window……just one click and I disappear from ur life :(

So here it goes……unleashing ‘madness’.

Thou art my friend only when YOU…..

1. Sing loudly in the bathroom as if no one’s hearing, don’t stop until someone bangs on your door and you fear that it might break open.

2. Kill your sleep and go on till 2 or 3 in the morning….just for fun.

Then wake up at 6 and go to work as if you are half dead.

3. Lie to people, all the time, everytime, but no pain, no hurt (except your parents—they should have expected all this on that one stormy night when they succumbed to---u know what…)

54. Greet everyone with a beautiful smile….everyone who supports you …your tapri ka paanwala, dhobi, maid, stray dog, old irritating neighbor (who doesn’t let you play cricket on a sunny afternoon). Just smile….it’s like magic.

5. Never wash you jeans….wash it only when it starts itching.

6. Listen to elders…… (don’t groan) after all a lot of what we are is because of things they have done and also not done for us :(.

7. Respect thy neighbor, well I’m not talking about the aunty who let’s you make phone calls when your phone is locked, but everyone—trees, dogs, ants, air, people everyone.

8. Cut your nails only when they grow long enough that you feel like biting them.

9. Keep your oldest jeans or may be your most favourite t-shirt or anything. Especially with a growing waistline—keep this and dream of fitting back into it someday.

10. Call people and bug them, don’t let them talk, but keep talking and finally say how we always fall short of time.

11. Pretend to study only one week before the exams and actually study just the night before.

12. Own half a dozen jhola bags, junk jewellery, anything except the expensive classy stuff….live a junky, die a junky (whatever that means).The point is use something till it begs for liberation---your watch, mobile, clothes, bags, shoes except toiletries….(I can stand anyone stinking)

14. Clean you toilet, not when mom asks you to, but whenever you feel like, do it—it’s how close you can get to reality—cleaning shit, MK did it!!

15. Watch movies like you are a film critic—a self declared one!!! Predict the box office result of the movie just by watching the rushes…..and don’t change your mind.

16. Sleep as if you are born to sleep…. : ) But do wake up ‘cos that’s the only way we could go back to sleep again.

17. Spend all the money that you earn—well this is only if you are married to a sweet guy (for girls) and if you are not married to any kind of gal (for guys).

18. Keep nodding as if you are listening, but escape…into your thoughts…..May come back after a few seconds or minutes and finally ask, ”so what’s the bottomline?”—like that one point which is being churned over and over again.

19. Own a bike, any bike, something that lets you feel the wind hit your face…at 40, 60, 80, 120, doesn’t matter just feel yourself forcing you way through air.

If u are wondering where is the rest of the 342 things….here it is!!! Just imagine that I am saying this 19 things to 19 people and that makes it 361…simple :)